A to Z 2k18: K is for King Parrot

Band:  King Parrot
Song:  Piss Wreck
Album:  Ugly Produce (2017)
Genre:  Thrash Metal

King Parrot is...  quite a band.  Really, they're just special.  But I don't know if I'm the best person to tell this story, I'll have my brother Jeff regale you with the story of when he got to see them in concert.  This is one of the best concert stories I've ever heard, so I hope you like it.

****

Jeff here, today's band is King Parrot, and my first experience with them was pretty fun.
A couple of years ago, Cattle Decapitation were on the North American Extinction Tour, and the supporting acts on the tour were Dark Sermon (awesome), Black Crown Initiate (awesome) and-- you guessed it-- King Parrot. At the time, I had never heard of any of them except the headliner--a band that I wasn't particularly a fan of, but thought it would make a good story to say I had seen them.

I turned out to be right, but had no idea why at the time.

Dark Sermon played, and I was an instant fan. Black Crown Initiate played, same deal. I bought albums from both as soon as their sets finished. I'd had a pretty early morning, so I was dragging a little, but I was starting to think it had been a good idea to go to this show, even though I was getting tired.

Then King Parrot started. Oh boy.

I actually missed the first part of their set, I had been outside talking to the singer from Black Crown Initiate (Cool guy, btw). I walk back in, to the sound of Grind-y Death Metal and vocals that sounded to me like a Grindcore frontman on helium. The song ended, and suddenly all the noise gave way to a string of words that had to have been 30% profanity, 30% insults, and the other 40% were what I could only assume to be made-up words. If you've ever heard an Australian person insult someone, you know what I'm talking about, it's a really unique kind of language.

I swear, to this day I have never heard any band insult their audience so much. It was unbelievable. He was using words that I never would have thought could be used as insults but there they were. Being offensive, somehow.

And why? Because we weren't moshing enough. A lot of people were tired, or just not in a moshing mood, like me, and the frontman just WAS. NOT. HAVING IT.

With every pause between songs, there came a new set of insults for how lame we were all being. At one particular break, he pointed at a pair of guys that had been standing in the back, (not far from where I was) and declared that they wouldn't play another note, until those two joined the mosh pit. He suggested that one remove his glasses and place them in his posterior, and called the other "fuzzy looking", in case you were wondering about the specific insults. As they went forward (he did take off his glasses first), I just watched and thought "Man, talking crap on all of us collectively is one thing, but why's he gotta get all personal on these poor guys?"

Oh Boy.

They played the next song, those two guys moshed a little, and as the song ended, feedback was ringing through the guitars, and the singer was glaring at someone.

Someone.

He lifts his hand, not to flip us off (again), but to point at someone.

At me. Shoot.

At first I thought maybe he was pointing at the guy standing next to me, since he hadn't been moshing either, so I pointed at him, questioningly, while maintaining eye contact with the frontman. He continued glaring and pointing, while he slowly shook his head. As it sunk in that he was looking at me, I tried to figure out what my plan of action was, and before I had time to start walking into the pit, some dude freakin' picked me up and carried me forward.

I was panicking, obviously. He carried me forward a lot further than I expected, I thought he was just putting me at the front, how nice of him.

NOPE.
HE PUT ME ON THE STAGE

I scrambled to get off the stage before they would have time to do anything to me, the crowd didn't let me at first, and I briefly thought, "Is this how I'm going to die?" Until they let me back onto the floor and I ran back to the safe spot where I had been standing. And let me tell you, King Parrot didn't like that.
A new barrage of insults and cursing, from the entire band this time. I didn't pay much attention, as I was too busy making sure I was safe.
They played the next song anyway, and during a solo, the singer put down his mic and jumped into the pit.

Hmm, what could he be doing? He was headed right for me. I'm panicking again, what can I do? Fortunately for me, when he got all the way across the floor he was deflected by the dude standing next to me, who was, as it happens, a hero. It wasn't long after that happened that they played their last song, and by some miracle the singer left me alone the whole time.

I was still scared though.

And Cattle Decapitation were ok, I guess.

****

Hope y'all liked Jeff's story, and hope you like the video these guys threw together, even if the music is awful, haha

You can follow me on Facebook, Twitter, and Google+, or even sponsor me on Patreon. No big, do whatever. But yeah, Twitter and Facebook are where I’m most active.

Twitter  Facebook  Reddit  Patreon